I saw a unicorn pig in my shed last Tuesday and everyone said I was crazy. I decided that by making a paper mache sculpture of Martin – I named him – that I would immortalise him and spread the truth before they silence me. I’ve already said too much.
My name is Samantha Douglasman, and I am a Unicorn Pig. Therefore, I can tell you first hand that no Unicorn Pig has ever, or will ever, be cyan. What a ridiculous lie!!! It is well know that Unicorn Pigs are most commonly shades of purple. Clearly someone hasn’t done any research into the matter.
Ian Mildredson, you are a FRAUD and you know it!!!
I was surprised, to put it kindly, when I read your reply. I have never been accused of lying before, but I fear the jig is up.
Samantha, I think you’ll find that I am a Unicorn Pig, and was posing as a human this entire time. I can also tell you with utmost confidence that you, in fact, are NOT a Unicorn Pig.
You may be asking yourself: ‘How does he know?’ – or something along those lines.
Well it was simple really. You speak English English NOT American English – in your previous message you used ‘colour’ rather than ‘color’. Why would I pick up on this detail? It is because – as the fable goes – ‘the only habitat suitable for Unicorn Pigs is Texas.’ meaning real Unicorn Pigs would never speak with an English dialect.
But you are no ordinary human Samantha Douglasman, oh no, I fear you to be the man I have been tracking down my entire life – Hello Fredrick McDonutville!!!
You called, Ian?
Well if you’re not Samantha Douglasman, then… no, it can’t be… Samantha, are you… Bono from U2??
I really like Martin! I especially like that you left the newspaper as is. It adds interest and shows that art can be made from anything!
This is a very different kind of unicorn, Ian! Is there a story to go with it? 🙂
I saw a unicorn pig in my shed last Tuesday and everyone said I was crazy. I decided that by making a paper mache sculpture of Martin – I named him – that I would immortalise him and spread the truth before they silence me. I’ve already said too much.
It sounds like you’ve just started a new urban legend! I like the idea of a one-horned pig. Why not? 🙂
Thanks Jonni
Interesting. What colour was Martin, Ian?
It was hard to see in the darkness, but I’m pretty sure he was cyan.
Dearest Ian,
My name is Samantha Douglasman, and I am a Unicorn Pig. Therefore, I can tell you first hand that no Unicorn Pig has ever, or will ever, be cyan. What a ridiculous lie!!! It is well know that Unicorn Pigs are most commonly shades of purple. Clearly someone hasn’t done any research into the matter.
Ian Mildredson, you are a FRAUD and you know it!!!
Kind Regards,
Samantha Douglasman
Dearest Samantha,
I was surprised, to put it kindly, when I read your reply. I have never been accused of lying before, but I fear the jig is up.
Samantha, I think you’ll find that I am a Unicorn Pig, and was posing as a human this entire time. I can also tell you with utmost confidence that you, in fact, are NOT a Unicorn Pig.
You may be asking yourself:
‘How does he know?’ – or something along those lines.
Well it was simple really. You speak English English NOT American English – in your previous message you used ‘colour’ rather than ‘color’. Why would I pick up on this detail? It is because – as the fable goes – ‘the only habitat suitable for Unicorn Pigs is Texas.’ meaning real Unicorn Pigs would never speak with an English dialect.
But you are no ordinary human Samantha Douglasman, oh no, I fear you to be the man I have been tracking down my entire life –
Hello Fredrick McDonutville!!!
Kind Regards,
Ian Mildredson